Wednesday, May 14, 2014

1:05am Thoughts

If we only get so many seconds, so many minutes in this life, who are you to tell me how I must dictate them? What ownership does anyone besides myself have over my time? Is that really so much to ask? For your own time...
Your own thoughts .. Your own brain and opinions...
I wish it could be like when we were kids. When it all didn't mean so much.
When we didn't feel so much.
But you can't unlearn. Unthink.
I wish I could remember what is was like to not wish you could remember. When realitity sufficed.
When ignorance wasn't ignorance because we didn't even know what that meant. When time was just time. It wasn't fleeting or standing still it just was. It seeped through the grass with the sunlight unnoticed by us as we tried to outrun the sidewalk.
It was enough for just us then. We kept it all to ourselves, not needing the gradification of others to solidify our moment in time.
My pre-social media brain.
When upon seeing an egg yolk sun drip into the horizon my first thought wasn't what filter I'll use on instagram.
What must it have been like to live as you grew up instead of observe it?
It's new now so it's overly popular. But like bell bottoms and boy bands it will eventually dissipate. Hopefully. Or else become less consuming. Kids will have grown up with it, it won't have the brain dead effect it tends to have on my age and above. They'll learn to live with it. But they might never live without it.
I have unrecorded, untexted, untweeted, unposted pieces of time unknown outside of my own brain.
Will those younger than me ever have that? Will they ever want it...
What has never been aquired cannot be missed once already stolen. That is if theft is still capable if both criminal and victim share a body.
A benevolent detachment with anything that doesn't have a heartbeat is recommended. Just to simplify life.
Always either drowning or dehyrdrating. Freezing while burning.
So infinitely illogical it's tantalizing.
How can the danger of right now over mask the eternity of forever?
Would it be too easy to accept we're all human and honor one another's journeys as we see where this is all going?
Sometimes the pressure of trying overhelms the reward. It happens.
What is to be done when love isn't enough? When you've given up so much of yourself that your bones are hollow.
When acceptance of defeat means you love yourself more than you love them.
And accepting that acceptance. Being okay with it.
Sometimes sacrifice can be insufficient.
I'm rambling... It happens.
If I could grow wings and fly away I would. Go above the sun and over the rainbow to somewhere else entirely. Just for the thrill of it. Risk the fall for the flight.
I'd rejoin gravity changed and no one would know.
How do you know your red is my red? What if your red is my blue? Or Purple? Or green?
My magenta sky could be your tangerine dream. Who knows, I can't look through your mind and see your world.
I can't truly look myself in the eye. See if my exterior matches the image I've created for myself because who trusts mirrors anyway. Maybe there's  meaning in that. Never truly seeing how others see you.
Life lessons disguised as mundane.
As the earth turns and rotates the moon that rotates the sun that rotates the galaxy as we dance on beyond the stars.
We go onward. Together.
Sharing warmth and light if we're blessed enough to have some to spare.
Basking in existence and curiously excited for whatever comes next, the infinite possibilities ahead.

- Elizabeth Montague

Monday, May 5, 2014

So Beyonce....

So Beyoncé....

Recently she was named the most influenntial person in the world by Time magazine. I know scores of people have already voiced their opinion on this and I have nothing against Mrs.Carter, I mean she certainly is influential. She dropped an albumn at 4am on a weekday via Instagram and it was a worldwide hit. Honestly more power to her, who am I to criticize the advancement of a fellow black women?
What I really want to discuss is more what she was wearing on that Time cover. She's in a white two piece with a see through coverup. Now I don't know how many of you have seen her new visual album Beyonce yet but some of the outfits, if a thong and bra can be called such, are a tad risqué.

Maybe it's just me but do you ever think of how awkward it's going to be when Blue is old enough to see the stuff her mom does? In one of the videos Beyonce is litteraly on a stripper pole dancing around for Jay-Z half naked.

And this is the most influential person in the world.

I actually think Time might be on to something. Look at today's pop culture, everybody's half naked.
Sure there's the occasional Janelle Monae and Adele but they're rare.
Are you still being objectified if you choose it? Is Beyonce any less influential with her clothes on?
Hmmm...

And I have nothing against Beyonce, on the contrary I actually really respect her career and persona don't get me wrong, but she put herself out there for discussion so why not discuss it.

So we have today's mainstream media vs. this:
Who is being more objectified? Who has more equality?

A). The burqa clad women who must be judged not by her physical appearance but by crazy things like her actions, words, and intellect
Or
B). Today's pop stars. Are they naked because they have to be in order to be popular or are they popular *because* they're naked?

What came first the chicken or the egg?

I don't have the answers to any of these questions, I'm just putting it out there.

If Jay-Z had been on that Time cover would he have been in a Speedo or some other outfit equally as exposing as his wife's? Of course not, he'd have been in some trendy yet dignified suit. But why then was Beyonce not given this same courtesy....

I know the Middle East is not the forefront for women's rights by any stretch of the imagination but I think that us "Westerners" sometimes misjudge certain things such as the burqa. I'll admit I was one of those people who judged it, it just seems so suffocating and demeaning to be stripped of your own appearance, but honeslty are we any better? If a women in our mainstream media culture has to have a face full of makeup, a head full of weave, and some skin showing to be popular, influential even, what does that say about us as a culture? How much respect are they really getting? And if they're willing to do all this, how much respect do they really deserve...

I'm just sayin'.
  - xoxo

Sunday, May 4, 2014

I Want to Write But I Don't Know What to Write

I don't know what I want to write. But I want to write.
I'm feeling trapped lately. Trapped by mundane routine and obligations. Is this what "growing up" is? Living more like you're waiting to punch out of a clock than make the most of every second of this journey we're so blessed to be given? The same thing everyday.  It's suffocatingly dull. 
The outside world has been anything but dull lately. The tragic kidnapping of those Nigerian girls, Donald Sterling, Cliven Bundy; who would long have been in a jail cell by now, if not worse, but alas generations ago ancestors he doesn't even know he has migrated to a colder climate resluting in less melanin in their skin and his by proxy. He was thus enabled with rights that, even though the Supreme Court might think otherwise, still exist. The Supreme Court is having a tough time right now, what with Antonin Scalia going around misquoting himself and what not.
Donald Sterling was just bizarre. Despite having a half black girlfriend, a black coach on his team, two and a half black players, and black fans keeping him very rich, he doesn't like black people? But don't worry, according to the most powerful court in the land, racism is dead. Now after the deserved fine and lifetime NBA ban we have to see how the selling of the Clippers is going to unfold. Some type of discussion over freedom of speech and how he said it in private and he's allowed to have whatever thoughts he wants bla bla bla bla is going to unfold, and that's all true. He has freedom of speech, as all Americans do, against the  government. He can dislike Obama because he's black, with small tasks on his plate like leading the nation I'm sure the President has more pressing matters that need his brain space more than dealing with idiots like Sterling anyway. The NBA however is a brand and a business, if it makes him look bad it makes them look really bad. Private conversation or not it got out and Sterling can do all the legal jiu jitsu he wants in court but he should just take the L and move on at this point.
The story of the kidnapped Nigerian girls is pure tragedy. I know social media is the axis of evil and so terrible and my generation won't be able to communicate or whatever but this got all of it's attention through social media. I heard about the #BringBackOurGirls campaign on Twitter and Instagram, not the news. In fact I didn't see it on the news until almost a month later. The girls were kidnapped on April 14, and it took soooo long  for it to gain a lot of attention. Is it still news if it's not reported? Kind of like one of those "if a tree falls in the forest.." questions... Despite how long it took, I'lm glad so many people have rallied behind these girls and I hope they make a safe return home. This really struck a cord with me, I'm the same age as them, I could easily have had the same fate if not for the chance of my geography. They were in school when 276 of the girls were kidnapped by an armed Islamist terroist group named Boko Haram which translates to "Western education is a sin". The group especially opposes women being educated and it is beleived the girls were sold as wives to members of the terroist groups. At least 53 of the girls have escaped so far and, with mounting pressure on the Nigerian government, hopfully these girls will be found soon and brought home.
It's a crazy world we live in.
My lovely dog chewed my laptop charger to pieces, rendering my dead MacBook useless, and I've been plesently surprised how well I've managed as it's been almost a month since I last used it. I have a newly found benevolent detachment to my electronics that I didn't know I was capable of. It's kinda nice.
  - xoxo

Some voices that need to be heard: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BJsvklXhYaE